Safety Kid & Connect with Respect

Last night Debbie Fox delivered a presentation here in Baltimore for parents on the topic of child

sexual abuse.  Mrs. Fox has been leading the charge on this important issue for many years, and her Safety Kid program is currently being used in communities all over the US and Canada.  I myself ran this program in various schools in New Jersey while I was the outreach coordinator for Project S.A.R.A.H., so I am intimately familiar with it, and I am very glad that my kids will now be exposed to it as well.

Many times when I had finished presenting the program in a school, they would come back to me with a boatload of positive feedback, and then they would ask, "so what do you have for middle school?"  The answer at the time was, "nothing," and it remained so for a good while, until one rather assertive guidance counselor said, "Well, we're going to be doing something for our middle school.  I hope you're it."  And with that motivation, I set to work creating something we could offer to Jewish middle schools.

Some years and many revisions later, Connect with Respect is ready to roll!  You can see a brief overview of the program here.  (Note that originally Safety Kid was running only up until 4th grade, so mine picked up with 5th grade; now I understand they are doing Safety Kid in 5th grade as well, so I will likely be running Connect with Respect in 6th, 7th and 8th grades instead of 5th, 6th, and 7th.) Currently I am in contact with several communities (including, of course, Baltimore) who have expressed interest in the program.  If you'd like to know more about it or would like to bring it to your town, please contact me!

Sexual Abuser Exposed

Earlier this week I found out that a therapist I used to work with at a community mental health agency was busted for being sexually involved with (and filming) a 16-year-old boy he was treating.  As if that’s not bad enough on its own, this therapist used to do classroom presentations as part of the sexual abuse prevention program I ran in Jewish schools in New Jersey.  It boggles the mind to think about someone walking into a classroom to teach kids how to avoid being abused, then walking into his office that night and abused a kid.  Wow.

Initially I was thinking that this could be a big blow to the agency’s credibility in offering sexual abuse prevention services – if they can’t even prevent it in their own daled amos… (note: I don’t know whether any abuse actually took place in the agency or with the agency’s clients as opposed to possibly his private clients elsewhere).  But then I realized, it can actually be used to their advantage, to wit: there really is no way to spot an abuser a priori – they come in all shapes and sizes, genders, family situations, classes, etc.  (Yes, many abusers are well-educated and are married with kids – as this man is.)  And sexual abuse education does not suggest otherwise.  Rather, it focuses on teaching adults how to spot the behaviors that are suspect (primarily the grooming process, in which an abuser gradually earns trust, provides extra attention to the victim, and introduces sexual content to their interactions), and teaching kids about body ownership (the classic “my body belongs to me”), inappropriate behaviors on the part of adults, and the importance of telling someone should they r”l find themselves in that situation.

Indeed, if I may plug myself, this is why I created a sexual abuse prevention program for Jewish middle schools – after several years of running one for Jewish elementary schools, it was clear that there is need for further education through the early teen years (and even beyond – but one step at a time). So, if you are interested in bringing my program – called Connect with Respect – to a middle school near you, please be in touch. I would love to get this out there and in use so that, B”H, we should see fewer and fewer kids falling prey to abusers.

Check out the video prospectus for Connect with Respect here.

Connecting Is Respecting - to be continued...

This week, in collaboration with my colleagues at Project S.A.R.A.H., we completed the first portion of the pilot run the sexual abuse prevention program I created for Jewish middle schools, called Connecting Is Respecting.  It was quite successful by all accounts, and we learned a lot from this initial presentation which will help us make some important improvements in the program and in the evaluation process.  So far we have presented to the 5th grade boys; plans to continue with the girls' section, followed by 6th and 7th grades, are underway.  Stay tuned!

I am presenting in Manhattan tomorrow for ORA, the Organization for the Resolution of Agunot, on domestic violence in the Jewish community.  Obviously the problem of husbands refusing to gives their wives a divorce is intertwined with this issue.  Should be an interesting discussion!

Online Training: Stewards of Children

In addition to being an online provider, I am also an online consumer.  There is an awful lot of useful information out there on the web!  During some research I was doing on child sexual abuse I discovered a training called "Stewards of Children" on a site called Darkness to Light, a recognized site on the issue.  The training is billed as something for any average person to take (especially parents) to learn how to protect children from being abused.  It contains a lot of great material and good ideas; I don't think there is anything there that can't be found elsewhere on the internet, although it's nice to have it all compiled in one place.  It takes a few hours to complete (you can do it over several days), and it costs $10.  If you want to save the ten-spot you can do your own reading; otherwise, it's certainly a helpful training to view.
(Note: I am not affiliated with Darkness to Light in any way.)